‘I am scared!!!’ Came a shriek at 11 pm. I jumped with a start, totally awake, cursing myself for having an ‘early’ night for a change and falling asleep around half an hour earlier while watching one of the Marvel movies.
I gave the little lady a cuddle; she was very upset and asked me to close her window as she could see black spots in front of her eyes, which means that the little flies have come to bite her. I closed the window, gave her some more cuddles and kisses, tried to explain that flies do not bite humans that are still alive and went back to sleep, tripping over various items scattered all over her room. 10 minutes later, the same situation repeated itself. I kicked my husband to wake him up and send him to V’s room (after all, we’re in it together, right?). All I could hear were tiny sobs getting louder and louder. I asked them both to come into our bed, but V was angry by then and didn’t want any cuddles or me to touch her. I forewarned her that if she kicks me, she will go back to her room (not on purpose, just when she turns around… and round… and round…); Anyway, at 2 am I had enough and told her to go back to her room as I couldn’t sleep (or comfort her as she didn’t want to get squashed or too hot with me cuddling her). She got up, went without complaint and slept till the morning.
When I finally woke up around 6.20 (alarm set for 6 am), I asked Andy if he knew WTF this was all about? Why did she suddenly have a nightmare about flies eating humans? Well… My ingenious husband had told her that in the evening, little flies get hungry and go looking for snacks. And they snack on humans! Which followed a question of ‘do many humans die from eating humans, or from being eaten by flies and so on…
I mean -why on earth would you say such a thing to a 5-year-old? Especially just before bed???
The best conversation however happened the day after: ‘Daddy, can you ask all the spiders in the house to come to my room?’ –‘Why? – ‘So they can eat all the flies’…
Ballsed -up Parenting 